Names, terms and sayings are things I always get muddled up. You know—Stuff you shouldn’t forget, but it isn’t the end of the world if you do. The sort of thing you shout to a work buddy, asking a two second question in hope of a two second reminder.
Little things which don’t really matter... like a General Studies A-Level.
But, naming something, anything, gives it an identity, gives it power, and scientists are terrible at it. Especially elements: Americium? Europium?—give me strength. A big shout out to Berzelius for naming an element after the god of thunder! Thorium! It sounds as hard as nails and it can power a nuclear reactor. YEAH!
What prompted this blog was the mini Big Bang which the guys playing with the Large Hadron Collider created. On a pedantic side note, how can you have a mini Big Bang? Surely it becomes a Mini Bang, or ‘mini’ and ‘big’ cancel each other out and you simply get a Bang, albeit one of the most impressive bangs the world has ever heard (if you were standing close enough).
Moving swiftly on. This truly is an amazing piece of science, engineering, vision...you could go on forever about such an immense project. These guys managed to set two lead ions off in different directions at near the speed of light, bend 'em like Beckham, and have them meet for a head-on collision, inducing the hottest temperature the world has ever felt (well, the second hottest temperature).
I can’t get over the hand/eye coordination possessed by the two scientists who lined that up. What a shot! I was Great Yarmouth’s U15 Table Tennis Champion (1995), and, to be brutally honest, it was a big thing, a very big thing, but, still, I think I would have missed even if Roger Federer was firing the other ion.
So yeah, absolutely incredible and hard to believe. Who knows?—Maybe the particle accelerator doesn’t work and they’re just pretending it does so they don't get in trouble, like a first year undergrad’s organic synthesis yield (first years, I’ll let you into a secret: they know when you hand in mag sulphate).
What’s in a Name? The Large Hadron Collider has to be the worst ever name for the second best ever thing (Cadbury’s Buttons in at number one). The RSC made a big deal out of this a couple of years ago. They took a poll to find out what we think the synchrotron should be called. ‘Halo’ was the most popular answer. According to the RSC, “Halo conjures visions of radiant beauty, power and wisdom. The circle of light reflects the collider's form; it is a crowning achievement of science and engineering. It also gives more than a nod to the experiment's importance to religious debate.”
Meh...
I give to you...
MEGATRON!
GODZILLATRON!
Create your own caption!
We need an injection of creativity. Admittedly, I’m not the one to do it. Once a scientist reaches thirty they should stop shouting “FLAME ON!” like the Human Torch when they get a GC to light. No, any human being who would have called one of the technological wonders of the world, “Big Darren,” shouldn’t be let near...well, anything.
Finally, to contradict everything I’ve just said, I actually love the name 'Large Hadron Collider.' Giving this vast and complex beast such a simple name is a monumental understatement that only something as ‘large’ as a 27 Km particle accelerator can bear. The genius of the name (surely intentional) is only surpassed by the technology itself....and Cadbury’s Buttons.
Jacko
www.mark-jackman.com
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