The actual Results Day:
The brown envelope awaits on the desk. Oh my goodness, I am terrified. I think my knees just turned to jelly.
First thought: I don’t want to open it I don’t want to open itIdon’t wannaopenitIdon’t wannaopenit…
Second thought: Okay, calm down. Breathe in. Breathe out.
Repeating the mantra, I manage to sit in the chair before I collapse. Breathe in. Breathe out. It is going to be fine.
My fingers inch toward the ‘devil incarnate ‘envelope and I hold it up in front of my face. Not for stopping anyone else seeing my results before me but just for better viewing, you see.
Right, I totally convinced myself.
Steeling myself, just as I was about to open the brown envelope which was the sole cause of my racing heartbeat and all-too-short lifespan, I looked up at my parents smiles of encouragement. Reminding me that no matter what happens they will love me- and so giving me enough courage to open the envelope.
In the end my results were not bad, but weren’t exemplary as I had hoped. But rather than that, nothing changed that day, life just went on.
We seem to have an innate fear of results day, that something will change and we will have to change our current life. It doesn’t. Fact of life.
So next time prepare for an exam think ‘ I am going to prepare to give my best shot at this’ and when giving it –‘ I am going to give my best shot at this’ and when waiting – ‘I have given it my best shot, so I am going to get good results’. As no one expects you to give any less or more than your best. And I tell you, that exam will be the best one you would have written. Not results wise, but you will feel satisfied and your fear will run away, tucking its tail behind its legs.
I am very lucky to have my thoughtful parents, but I am not the only lucky one. We all have those who care deeply for us and love us unconditionally and they will always be proud of you no matter what grades you achieve, whatever sports you compete in, instruments that you play and so on.
You will always have the worry, the niggling fear at the back of your mind,but it's okay, as it shows that you care! Just remember that feeling before you go into your next exam though. It will push you to do your best. It will drive you through to success. You'll have to study hard too! There is no escaping that, unfortunately.
Congratulations for surviving through results day!